It's raining. Again. It does that a lot here. The weather also loves to change temperatures radically and without warning. Kind of like a woman. Oooh snap, I totally burned females. But in all seriousness, it hits my window insanely and the only thing I have to listen to is YRock on XPN which is good about 75% of the time, but when it's bad, it's really annoying. So when I inevitably get bored, I take my headphones off and have to hear "TAP TAP TAP TAPTAPTAP TAP" repeatedly. And I'm not sure what's worse, that or stupid low-fi indie rock.

I want to see a bunch of movies. I hate being broke. There was about four movies I wanted to see, all at the same time back in December. I never saw them. Still haven't seen "The Watchmen" but I will at some point. Maybe I can just go chill by myself at the movies if I can ever get off work in time to not be forced to endure the 10 p.m. showing. I'm old. I go to bed early on weekdays. I need my 12 hours or else I am just worthless.

There's also a bunch of good music coming out this year. Or, music that I'm interested in hearing. Let's see, I think the 09 tentaive release dates exist for these artists: Green Day, Smashing Pumpkins, Deftones, Muse, Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Mastadon, Glassjaw, Coldplay and some others I can't think of. Honestly, I wouldn't hold my breath on about half of those. I've already heard the new Mastadon (fantastic), the Green Day has a release date and the new Deftones album is done. So I figure those will see the light of day. Others have just started or are in the process. And I don't expect to see a new Glassjaw record before the end of the decade.

In case you haven't heard, I've got a squatter. El Danegeroso is back and sleeping on my floor *Sigh* I guess it's my fault for helping out a friend, but he did install a new toliet seat in my bathroom and bought me a wok, so I can't complain too much. But it's been nice to not have only me in my shitty, cold apartment for the past few weeks. So there's that.

Whatever. The lunch hour is over and people can be contacted again. I need to stop pretending and actually work now, I guess. *Sigh again*

19 and 1/2 Degrees

They may find my body
By tracing the blood back.
They can piece the story together,
But they'll never find me.
I'll remain in your thoughts for a while
Then the illusion will fade away,
Become some ghost you thought you knew
But a face you don't remember.

They can look in your eyes to see what's left,
I just ask that you put in storage with the rest.
But I don't want to become a moth-eaten toy,
Something you used to adore and now just look fondly on,
A stuffed piece of fabric that brought you comfort,
Nothing more than a memory in a faded picture,
A statue that lost the luster it held in the midday sun,
Now just reduced to one more tarnished piece of metal.

I know you'll rearrange this how you see fit
And we'll be strangers to each others' hearts.
There's nothing left for me in you
Except the remains inside your chest.
But those can be easily removed,
Even those can be erased.
They'll exit in the sweat you leave behind after he's done touching you,
After he gets more than I ever even got a taste of.

I felt it disappear the same time as you
And it took something as it headed into the ether.
I know it had dried up long ago,
It died an easy death without a proper funeral.
And everything I feared,
Everything I said all along came true.
Like those roses ended up in your scrapbook,
So will the love you held for me.

New State Mottoes

We all know the 50 U.S. states have mottoes. Well, now they should have new, more appropriate ones. You're welcome Uncle Sam.

1. Alabama — Every state that has moved beyond integration step forward. Not so fast...
2. Alaska — Just within the real states' periphery.
3. Arizona — Nothing to offer since the Mexican War.
4. Arkansas — Where kinfolk are hot.
5. California — For homosexuality, we say, "You're welcome."
6. Colorado — How did we get to be a state again?
7. Connecticut — Where black people aren't allowed.
8. Delaware — Taking it like a bitch from Maryland since 1776.
9. Florida — Hell's waiting room.
10. Georgia — Where everybody has a southern accent. You know, the annoying one. No, I mean, the real annoying one. The one where our i's are y's. Yeah, that one.
11. Hawaii — The redheaded step child of the union.
12. Idaho — Potatoes? Who cares?
13. Illinois — At least we have Chicago.
14. Indiana — Providing inspiration to white basketball players everywhere.
15. Iowa — Where bestiality is not a crime, so much as frowned upon.
16. Kansas — Unassuming and insignificant since 1861.
17. Kentucky — We're that awkward kid who stands in the corner at the school dance.
18. Louisiana — Where, apparently, all political problems can be solved via a big 'ol pot of gumbo!
19. Maine — Oops, we almost forgot about you.
20. Maryland — At least we have a cool flag.
21. Massachusetts — America's ingrown toenail.
22. Michigan — Providing the country's stank.
23. Minnesota — We promise our bridges won't fail anymore.
24. Mississippi — Triing too empruve edyoucayshun cents the sivil whur.
25. Missouri — Arkansas' hat and Iowa's pants: you decide which is better.
26. Montana — The perfect place for a nuclear wasteland.
27. Nebraska — No one wants to live here. Maybe you will!
28. Nevada — Where a vacation turns into a career paying back that loan you took out to hit on 18 when you should have doubled down.
29. New Hampshire — Vermont's favorite spooning partner.
30. New Jersey — More sweatsuits and gold chains than you can shake a calzone at.
31. New Mexico — Should've stayed a part of "old" Mexico.
32. New York — At least we're not New Jersey.
33. North Carolina — Where the airplane was born. Thanks for 9/11, jerks.
34. North Dakota — FOR RENT
35. Ohio — We're a state too!
36. Oklahoma — More like Oklahomo.
37. Oregon — Meh.
38. Pennsylvania — Founded by Quakers, which is a whole lot better than Mormons.
39. Rhode Island — What a piss poor excuse for a state.
40. South Carolina — The home of racism since 1670.
41. South Dakota — Bring your own coat hanger.
42. Tennessee — The birthplace of country music. Sorry everyone.
43. Texas — The only state assholish enough to have a flag with one star.
44. Utah — Homeland of all those people who knock on your door and want to know if you've heard "The Good News."
45. Vermont — Where you'll wish you were part of Canada.
46. Virginia — At least we had that Confederacy thing going for us.
47. Washington — Hey! Get back in the corner where you belong. Silly state.
48. West Virginia — Wearing shoes since 1978.
49. Wisconsin — Where cows outnumber people 3 to 1.
50. Wyoming — Cowboys = Gay. Brokeback Mountain anyone?

The Battle of Waterloo

Your face is drained
Your limbs stick to the sides
You want everything to burn
You want it all to burn away
You smell the perfume
You can feel her in your arms
You fit together so neatly
You can imagine it in your mind
You move together behind your eyes
You leave through the side door
You're so afraid to make a scene
You're so afraid to catch a glance
You want it all to be yours
You want to lose yourself for a while
You know it's all one big ruse
You know it's the perfect distraction
You know that you will take it in stride
You look like you've seen a ghost
You are done with who you were
You are not the person who entered the room
You are leaving and you're not going home
You are leaving and you're leaving alone

The Night Before

The sun had just warmed the morning sky on a new day
When I discovered a stray hair that found its way to my pillow.
I already knew the origin of that strand of silk,
It was property of the beautiful girl who slept there the night before.

I had carefully watched her eyes moved beneath naked lids
And I counted the lashes on her child-like face.
I saw the arc of her chest in its peak
And I heard the air escape only to begin the journey all over again.

I remember exactly how she stood in my doorway — so open, so plain —
With the moonlight cascading down her face.
I thought about how she moved across the empty dance floor in bare feet
And how I laughed as she smiled back at me.

I thought about how nothing could compare to the melody in her heartbeat
Or how no piece of art could document what I saw in the smile spread on her lips.
I was amazed by the strength she held my hand with.
Now it made sense how she could carry all those things she kept in.

Finally she opened her eyes showing a color I hadn't seen.
They matched the morning in its optimism and naivety.
She managed to flood me with so much compassion and hope
That all of the love coming out of her caught back up with me.

But now she's not here anymore and there's just a hole in my bed.
Long gone is the warmth from where she had lain her head.
The day passed like grains of sand through a clinched fist
And the only thing I have left is the night before.

The Guns of August

It's over the top
In this war of attrition,
As waves of men throw themselves
At an unseen enemy.

Now's the time to lose life and limb,
We're all fodder for the cannons.
Inside no man's land,
This gas mask is the face of death.

A general, somewhere behind my head,
Challenges all his faithful troops —
"Come on you bastards,
You don't want to live forever, do you?"

"Leave the fallen behind,
Leave them where they lie,"
Inside a crater, tangled up in wire,
Or stuck behind enemy lines.

"We take no prisoners,"
When we're ducking for cover,
Ignoring white flags
Where salvation is surrender.

"We're all brothers in arms,"
Using the same bayonets,
Fielding each others' bullets,
And bearing the same scars.

We're the sons and daughters of this cold war,
A strip of land less than a mile keeps apart.
Forced to live in these trenches,
We hold the grenades close to our hearts.

As the General's voice fades under the screams,
The stench of death surrounds me.
Now this battle has become a mass funeral,
Except we none of us will receive a burial.

Dancing With Skeletons

The stars shine brightly tonight, reaching down towards Earth
The ages-old rays reflect off a broken picture frame
Illuminating the shards with light that took a million years to get here,
Underscoring a situation where no one's to blame.

The last remaining light is eclipsed by the planet's churn.
This gloaming casts a shadow, turning the horizon blue.
As the sun burns out, I feel the exhaustion of another day hanging on
And we held on for so long that the ache became all we knew.

As Mars flashes his warrior's glow off the car's hood,
A ghost makes its way through the mist and woods.
All sorts of creatures mingle in the thickets of my mind,
while midnight dawns, clouding up my eyes.

A crescent moon marks that the heavens have already moved on.
Its phases have crawled by so slow that I'm still dancing with skeletons.
Tonight, it's reflection off the lake seems extra pale
And I pray that the morning rain will wash away your smell.